i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My vagina is very pro this idea
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
