Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
