dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize