Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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