she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Is Oprah even human
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
