Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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