were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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