Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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