I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
