I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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