Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
They left me at home... I'm a liability
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
