frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
