Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
