Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
