I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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