Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
