Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we're making bets on your personal life
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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