Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
