After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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