ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize