And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The Olympian is in my bed
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
