he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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