Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
