I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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