can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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