He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
