a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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