I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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