More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
