so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sorry about my life...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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