At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
