If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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