They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
fuck your aforementioned shoe
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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