trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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