and you said cock pushups were impossible
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
