You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dick very happy bro
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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