First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
