I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
