no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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