At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
