You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize