Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
