hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
