found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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