First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
