So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
