May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize