i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
