think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
