He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
