so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
