she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
