You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
