My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
