you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
