Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
