I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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