Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
