Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
