How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Your cock deserves a montage
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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