He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
