I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
