You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
